ma cherie d'amour

What a week. I was blissfully in love on Monday night and heartbroken on Tuesday morning. Nobody saw this coming and I still can't truly grasp the reality. I guess the hardest thing is trying to understand what went wrong, if in actual fact anything HAD gone wrong. It seems that the voices around me were right; Melanie was too young for me. Too young to appreciate the amazing life that we had, perhaps because she hasn’t experienced enough life to know otherwise. We loved each completely, but sometimes love alone is not enough to compromise one’s need to experience. For me, everything was in exactly the right place and Mel is the right girl; for her it clearly isn’t. In my opinion, very few people can sustain a romantic relationship while defining their adult identity, whether personal, professional or both.

Breakups seem easier when you’re the one that’s been dumped because there is no guilt. Guilt of the unintended hurt you’ve caused your partner. My dear Mel, please don’t feel guilty. I know that you wanted this as much as I and I know that you tried your hardest to make it work. By now you know that love can’t be forced; when the heart no longer in it, it’s time to go. People lie to themselves often for years (as I have in the past) because they are scared to face the truth. The right thing to do for oneself is sometimes the hardest. You did what was right and I love you for it.

For the first time in my life I’m not scared of being single. I’ve overcome my ego and my life-long battle with anxiety has come to a timely end. The only fear I have is that I will never find someone as amazing as you. I don’t regret a moment of our time together; from the first dance to our last few days together.

I love you baby.